We have all experienced the times in life when you feel like someone just reached into your chest, ripped your heart out, and dropped it on the floor. You know those times when you feel like the deer caught in the headlights. The other day I walked in to pick my beautiful Gracie Beth up from school. When I entered the classroom she ran and jumped up into my arms like she was looking for safety. She squeezed tightly and buried her face into my neck. Needless to say I did the normal routine and signed her out, walking out told her how much I love and missed her, put her in the car and head to our next destination. On the way to our next destination she said these words, “daddy (the boy) told me I wasn’t beautiful”. At that moment I wanted to turn the car around and go have a talk with the boy. You may say that this is just a part of life but that one comment has changed my daughter and left me to pick up some pieces and teach her what true beauty is and where it comes from. You see I had to reassure her that not only was she beautiful and then share with her God’s idea of beauty. This however did not ease her wound like I thought it would. Already, the world, has taught her that beauty is physical first and all else second. When we arrived home that night she ran into her room and put on one of her princess dresses. I of course told her how beautiful she looked which made her feel a little better. Then she told me she wanted to wear it to school for the boy to see that she was beautiful. My heart hurt for her. But it got worse. Right before dinner I asked her to go change out of her dress. She looked at me and asked this question, “If I take my dress off will I still be beautiful”? My heart was on the floor as I kneeled down, took her in my arms, and reassured her that she would always be beautiful both on in the inside and out. As parents we face fierce battle for our kids minds and hearts. Prayerfully directing them back to how God views them and what He says is true beauty. Everything in society screams the opposite of God’s definition of love and beauty. Here are some ways we can give our daughter’s a fighting chance in understanding true beauty.

1. Take your daughter on Daddy Daughter Dates (open the door for her, pull out the chair, pray with her at meal time, share with her how much you love her for her and not because of what she does).
2. Pray with her and during your prayers emphasize God’s view of her.
3. Every day listen to her and ask specific questions to try and understand what she is thinking.
4. Treat your own wife with the love and respect God requires. This may seem like a no-brainer but remember that your child (ren) is watching.
5. Each month make a concerted effort to emphasize one character area that will help her focus upon God’s beauty.

Obviously this is not an end all be all list. However, we have to start somewhere and often time’s simplicity is the best option. I know that we are always looking to improve something within our self. Why not look beyond ourselves this year and see what we need to do for our kids. Fight for them.

I have been trying to show Gracie-Beth that she is to be treasured and valued by all. The world we live in can often look at a woman as an object to be exploited. Little girls are taught what to wear to attract attention, to find their value in popularity and clothes, and to use the correct language. Women are devalued, called to compromise integrity, and then raped of their innocents. The sad part is that we, as parents, have or are allowing this to happen. We shove them into the latest trends of fashion, TV, or activity without a second thought. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying to shield our children from everything, but these things should never replace the practical lessons a parent can teach his/her child. So we need to carefully ask ourselves why we have our children in a certain activity, dressing a certain way, or encouraging them to watch certain TV shows or movies. We, as parents, have the blessing of building our children up through “teaching moments” that will help spurn them onto not only great things but self confident and valued children/adolescents/young adults/and adults. Allow me the chance to share just one key teaching moment that all parents should have with their daughters.

The other day I wanted to do something special for Gracie-Beth. In the past I have done things like play princess & prince with her (teaching her chivalry), taught her about honesty, and shown her what it means to be defended when picked on. We pray together and she asks for a blessing every night. The other day I picked her up from school and drove her to a flower shop. As soon as I pulled in to the parking lot, she immediately exclaimed, “It’s the castle with flowers in it!”

I looked at her and told her, “Gracie-Beth, Daddy wants to buy you a flower because I love you”.

It was at that moment, with her reaction, that I began to understand just how much my Gracie-Beth felt valued through a flower. The best way I can describe her reaction to even the thought of getting a flower is that everything in her body literally blushed from the inside out. My daughter was aglow. She put her hands over her face and acted shy. So I asked her what color flower she would like, to which of course, she said pink. We walked in and ordered her a pink rose and then mommy a dozen red roses. As we waited, we walked around the flower shop looking at all the beautiful flowers. I noticed the way she held my hand as we walked through the flower shop. It was very different from the way she holds my hand to cross the street. Instead, she grabbed my hand, and then with her other arm, grabbed my entire arm. It was as if she was a splint on my leg. She just wanted to be close to the one that valued her.

Isn’t that the way we are in life? We run towards those we value. As Christians, we should always be in a state of “closeness” with God. However, we find ourselves all too often running toward those things or people that make us temporarily feel good about ourselves. As I looked down at my daughter, I was reminded that I have the continued responsibility to teach her how to find her value in God. The best way for her to see and learn this is through this father demonstrating the value that God has placed upon her.

The roses were ready, so we paid for them and got back into the car. Noticing the importance of the moment, we talked about why Daddy gives Mommy flowers and why she is valued. All day long she showed everyone her rose. I know that I will not be able to shield her from all the cruel things in this world, but for this day, I saw her being loved and valued. Allow me to ask you a question as a parent…are you creating those “teaching moments” for your children? Do it today and it just may change your child’s life.